I just admitted I goofed. It was something minor - a data field for a Destin FL Bank of America short sale. I accidentally entered the wrong property tax amount. Or, shall I say, I was doing too many things at once and should have checked my work. No harm was done, but the negotiator had to re-create the task so I could do it right. He didn’t say “You goofed, idiot!”. He just asked me to re-do it. I had two choices. I could have just done the task, or could have also admitted I had made a mistake. I did the latter. Here is my email:
“Got it! Sorry I messed up before! Happy Thanksgiving Week!”
This seems like a minor point, but it isn’t-- in negotiations or in real life. How does admitting you were wrong help? First, bringing your mistake out in the open, shows you are human. Acknowledging it shows you care. In negotiations, it can disarm the other party. It can bring them to your side, and create a connection. How so? Human beings are “rescuers”. They have sympathy. And if you admit you are wrong, it allows them to be wrong, too. Their defensive wall is taken down. Dale Carnegie says this in his classic book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People” - “When you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.” He goes on to say, “You will never get into trouble by admitting you may be wrong. This will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are.”
Confess when you make a mistake, and watch what happens with the negotiator, the other agent, your seller or your spouse. In my case, the negotiator melted and emailed me back three times to discuss his cold, while working on my short sale approval.
Admitting you were wrong is the right thing to do.
It's Wendy!
Wendy Rulnick, Broker, Rulnick Realty, Inc.
Call toll-free 1-877-487-9639 or local 850-650-7883 ext 204
Email Wendy: itswendy@rulnickrealty.com
Destin Florida short sale help
Wendy Rulnick, Broker, is a short sale and pre-foreclosure specialist and has been featured in "Kiplinger Personal Finance Magazine" and "Florida Realtor Magazine". She has successfully helped hundreds of families avoid foreclosure through short sale along the Emerald Coast of Florida. Wendy Rulnick is knowledgeable in all aspects of short sale, including VA Compromise Sale, FHA HUD pre-foreclosure sale, HAP military PCS, HAFA, Bank of America Coop program and more. She is also co-founder of www.ShortSaleSuperstars.com and short sale instructor to agents across the United States.
Wendy Rulnick covers the entire Emerald Coast of Florida in Walton, Okaloosa and Santa Rosa County- Destin, Santa Rosa Beach, Fort Walton Beach, Niceville, Bluewater Bay, Navarre, Seagrove Beach, Watercolor, Sandestin, Seaside, Crestview, Rosemary Beach, Mary Esther, Shalimar, Panama City Beach, Eglin AFB, Hurlburt Field.
Wendy aren’t you asking a lot if you want guys to admit they were wrong :-)
Actually I just admitted I was wrong in a post earlier today.
http://activerain.com/blogsview/2613606/growl-i-was-wrong-about-zoho-writer-still-looking-for-a-word-processor-for-writing-posts-
While it might not be the most comfortable thing to do, it's the only way to go. If you don't admit you're wrong when you are, it's sure to bite you in the butt later!
Agree 100%. Folks get in trouble when they try to blame other people. Find out what the problem is and then work to correct it
Wendy,
Welcome to the club.
I forgive you! I always do when it doesn't cost my people money.
I have to because I figure it was just the other guy"s day not mine.
Any one can and will make mistakes witch are totally different than ignorance and stupidity.
Bill
David - Maybe there is something about Thanksgiving bringing out all these admissions of guilt?
Jayne - I think it also shows you are strong.
Doug - That's right, it's unsustainable to keep a righteous stance.
Bill - Thank you for the forgiveness. It's true - making a mistake doesn't mean you are ignorant (ok sometimes it does!)
Nicely said, Wendy! Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone will own them. As you said, admitting to being wrong really does take the edge off of the problem and make you much more credible & trusted as the process continues.
Bruce
.
I usually mess up when I am in a hurry and doing the most mundane of tasks. Get the hard stuff right. mess up the easy stuff. Yep.
In our business we must be 100% honest, to our clients and anyone else. Honesty starts at home!
Wendy: Good on You! as the saying goes. It is so much the right thing to do. Why we hesitate sometimes, I wonder. Your points are well taken. We all want to be looking good and the pressures we face during the day can seem to corner us into thinking I can't make a mistake. Yet, to get to it right away and say "I'm sorry, I goofed" just might be the best way at looking good. It's authentic! Great post...
Wendy, it does wonders in personal relationships too. We all make mistakes and we get aggravated with each other, but nothing makes it go "away" faster than a sincere apology!
Good advice Wendy,
Actually, once you get in the habit of taking responsibility for mistakes it gets a lot easier.
You did the right thing. Most people I would have to believe would do the exact same thing.
Wendy, I always admit when I am wrong. I actually admit I am wrong at times when I know the other side made a mistake and will not admit it and I know it's not big deal in the situation.--- it defuses the tension.
Steve Warrene - That is an EXCELLENT communication and negotiation technique - not making the other person look bad...!
Hi Wendy. It's not easy for anyone to admit they're wrong...it's just human nature that we don't want to make mistakes and for others to know about our mistakes. However, you're right that when we make a mistake, as we are only human and not of perfection, we need to fess up and I agree 100% that it will likely put the other party at ease letting their guard down. It is the right thing to do and yes, not always easy. Happy Thanksgiving
I never admit being wrong. I just blame somebody else ;-) It's easier that way.
Great post, thanks for sharing it.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was wrong.
Wendy, our guilt of being larger than forgiveness of the client! They do understand that we are human, too - and if we accept it, life goes on....
I went to suggest this but it was too late. Great message. Of course we should admit it but so many people look to blame someone else. It's so tiresome.
Wendy, Once I thought I was wrong...but I was mistaken! LOL! On the serious side...I feel admitting a mistake or admitting you don't know something, but would be happy to find out the answer, is a valuable quality in a person. Thanks for sharing.
Wendy
Great post and you are right on target, we have to step up and admit when we're wrong and take responsibility for our actions.
Good luck and success.
Lou Ludwig
We are in an industry plagued by a perception of dishonesty. The way we fix it is by admitting we are human, that we make mistakes and that we will own up to our errors. Great post.
Wendy -- Absolutely!!!!! Just admit it and move on. I can't stand dealing with someone who takes the opposite approach. You are so right about disarming the other party. Admitting you're wrong -- personally or professionally -- is the only way to go.
Wendy - It may be the right thing to do and yet so many people have a hard time admitting to their mistakes.
Hi Wendy,
One of my favorite ee cummings poems:
The way to keep love brimming
Full in the loving cup
When you are right admit it
And when you are right - shut up!
:)
Phil
So true Wendy. Admitting when we are wrong can also help us to build trust. And having trust is the cornerstone to successful negotiations.
No one is perfect, there are lots of possible places for errors. The best thing to do is to admit the mistake and make it right.
Hi Wendy, it really does disarm the other person and it does make them more magnaminous. We can only secretly, and smugly hug and pat ourselves for our wisdom, because to do it openly will wreck everything we just created. Great post.
Admitting and correcting is much harder than trying to justify and defend. Admit mistakes, correct and move forward always works!
Phil Leng - Thank you for the ee cummings poem - especially the last line!
I think you are right Wendy. Admitting you were wrong or you made a mistake disarms people. Offering an apology gives people opportunity to connect with you on a human level. We suddenly become friends for a moment rather then cut throat professionals. It’s never a bad move to admit your mistake when you really did mess up.
I thought I made a mistake once but was wrong. I apologise for that... :) Absolute I apologise when I make a mistake and admit when I am wrong. thank you for your post. Happy Thanksgiving.
Noone is perfect but admitting to our faults and mistakes is hard and takes guts but never fails to secure the trust and admiration of others. Right on!
Well, I have to answer hypothetically since it hasn't happened yet. But if I were ever to actually be wrong I suppose I would admit it "quickly and emphatically." :-)
Great post! Powerful and yet oh-so simple!
Chris
There is something to be said for taking your time. Better to do it right the first time! But admitting you goofed is always the best thing. Especially on something like that. It does disarm the other person's frustration and anger at you. Works on everyone when you admit you are human!
Wendy - how can one not to agree with yu on this one? Very true. And it does not take much, just tramp your ego and do it.
Looks like I missed your feature by about a week. Truth is, Wendy, what commenter (of the variety that is always right) is actually going to admit that they are wrong? So, even if I told you that I always take responsibility for my actions, it would be ironic if you believed me ;-)