Do you know that your voice conveys who you are on the telephone? Do you know that you can create a wall by your attitude even before someone picks up the phone? Do you realize that short sale negotiators are people, too?
The other day I was calling Countrywide to check on a short sale and mentioned that I had a negotiator who was helping me on several contracts. I said I didn't "know why she was so nice". The phone rep said, "Well I can understand WHY". So I asked,"Why?" "That's because YOU are so nice!", she replied. I almost fell off my chair. But I thought about it. Whenever I call a short sale lender OR talk to another agent, or to anyone, I feel "expectant" curiosity, openness, and kindness. Most of the time, I get a surprisingly "human" person on the other end of the phone. Initially, you might find they have their guard up. The other person doesn't know what they are going to get - they don't know if they are going to talk to a real estate agent who is angry or arrogant or haughty. These negotiators get "yelled" at a lot, so they probably don't want to show any any human vulnerability at first.
But consider this:
People want to be liked
People get defensive when they are picked on
People like to be understood
It is human nature to help others
No one likes to be demeaned or criticized
Most people want a connection with others
Instead of always looking at the end goal of "How can I get this short sale approved or this deal to work", look at the first priority- relationship. I find that 95% of the people I talk to are very nice and friendly. When a negotiator gets an unexpectedly pleasant, uncritical phone call you can actually brighten his day. You will hear the guarded voice fade away right over the phone line. The other 5% of the people who are not nice I chalk up to this- they've got a personal problem going on. Maybe their boyfriend broke up with them, or they have a sick relative, or maybe their whole life they've had self-esteem issues. One never knows. So when that happens, call back another time, or get another person on the phone, and take a deep breath.
Remember these tips when communicating: curiosity, openness and kindness. You don't have to be "right", you don't have to know everything, and you don't have to "judge". You will find the rewards even greater than your sales.
It's Wendy!
Wendy Rulnick, Broker, CRP, CRS, GRI, ABR Rulnick Realty, Inc.
Destin Florida
Call toll-free 1-877-ITS-WNDY (1-877-487-9639) or local 850-650-7883 ext 204
All Rights Reserved. *How to Talk to a Short Sale Negotiator* Contact Wendy Rulnick regarding Destin Florida real estate and vicinity. Copyright © 2009 by Wendy Rulnick.
Very nice reminder. I also try to keep it positive.
Rain on!
Thanks, David. The smile comes right across the phone!
This goes into the "DUH" column...but good for you to write it! Crazy how simple things can be!!
I have a whole spiel I go into with my short sale clients (seller or buyer). "We have no power and the person working on this for the bank has had their work load increased from about 200 properties at once to about 800 - so we just do what they say." Quick pleasant email conversation works best for me. I did have one funny one though. It was an extremely ugly house - had been on the market for 2-3 years on and off. The house was sided with rolled roofing and was in an industrial zone. That being said it was really quite nice inside. The bank DID NOT want it back and wow were they cooperative! A cash buyer came along and that house got sold pronto!
Hi Karen - From what the short sale reps tell me, they get an aweful lot of anger directed towards them,
Kathy - Nice to get cooperation, isn't it? Pleasantness goes a long way.
I agree Wendy! The folks on the other end of the line get yelled at all day long. One thing I have found out is if the person on the other end sounds like they got up on the wrong side of the bed, I hang up and call back and someone else will answer.
Jeff - Good idea. I do the same... also if I cannot understand their pronunciation.
Gold Wendy...GOLD. Sometimes they get caught off guard when they speak to someone on the other end that seems to be having a great day. Make the person on the line feel like it's a great day too! It goes a long way and the kindness is returned at a higher level if you ever work with that negotiator again. Gold Wendy! You'd be amazed how people speak to them on an hourly basis.
Make it a goal to get a chuckle from every negotiator, it will help you feel better too.
Sidney - SO true, my friend. It makes everything better to have a nice connection with those around us. It is disarming and "charming", but always best when sincere. That's the key!
What a wonderful read. I was talking with an agent in my office yesterday and she was joking with me that I, "Love everyone." It's true, I find great things to admire in people I work with. I'm always gushing about how great a client is or a fabulous friend. You said it beautifully when you said, "expectant curiosity, openness and kindness." I hope that I convey these qualities to everyone I am around.
I've often found that the nicer I am with them, the more cooperation I get. I remind myself they are justing doing their job; and it's a tough job.
Thanks, Maya. That's another good point- admire others. Everyone has something great about them. It is nice to be appreciated with sincerity. When people have a shining quality and you recognize it, you definitely show love. It feels good, too.
Kathy - That is true :)
Wendy, oh so true. People like nice! To me it's very simple, how do you like to be treated? Do you want to help someone who is screaming down your throat? I'd say not. So if you're looking for somebody to be on your side, treat them like you respect them.
Lynn - "Respect" - that's another key point!
Wendy, good post, and reminder. And it doesn't surprise me that you were called nice - you certainly are!
Thanks, Sweetie! That is the "nicest" thing I've heard all day!
Good post Wendy and a must read for anyone involved in short sales. I think in our eagerness to get the deal finalized we tend to forget the people part of it...this goes for all deals, not just short sales (though it's really important here)!
Thanks, Laura. I enjoy the people the best, especially making someone's day!
Thank you Wendy for reminding us all that basic courtesy goes a long way toward developing a satisfying relationship with stress-out negotiators. Great post.
Tom - Thank you. It also feels good to be pleasant!
Right you are Wendy...attitude says a bunch...it is why our initially friendly VA is our former VA....she began with the "lick your face friendly" approach and rapidly became "Jack(ie) the Bear" with the "This is not negotiable..." line among others....my sympathy to anyone who has to work with kind of attitude...you work well with people you like and a charging negative attitude doesn't get that done !
Sally & David - And "try to like everyone" is the best attitude! There are very few people that aren't just having a bad day. Those are the most difficult.
Totally agree with you. Wouldn't want to be in their shoes, but would find it interesting to listen in on some snipets of conversations to hear what it sounds like from the other end.